By Jack Krampitz

On Friday afternoon, the sun peeked out for a few hours, so I decided to take a break from building my ark and gathering all those animals. I decided to take a trip around my favorite city with a population of 59,639 people, and snap a few pictures of things I found.

None of these pictures are of earth-shattering events, nor do I have anything controversial to report. (For that, go to Bristol Talks.) But it doesn’t take much to impress or amuse me, and these are my observations from a slow news week.

First of all, Wow! I think we’ve had enough rain! Take a look at the normally babbling Pequabuck River from the bridge at Rockwell Park.

It looks like the Colorado River, sort of. Anyway, after seeing that, I was somewhat puzzled that a few citizens of Bristol had their sprinkler systems going at 6:30 a.m. as I drove by Friday morning. I could almost hear the lawns screaming, “Uncle! We can’t breathe! We surrender, please- no more water!” What kind of heartless bastard would torture an innocent lawn that way? Just asking.

This next photo is of the new art mural at Centre Square.

First of all, I have to admit, it took me two weeks to find this mural. It is located at the rear of the farthest parking lot from the street. If you look at it closely, even the trees are showing it little respect. That being said, my heart swelled with pride when I learned Bristol has a big heart.

Then, while driving on Chippens Hill, I came upon the construction of our second solar power site behind Roberts’ Orchard on Matthews St.

This gives Bristol two impressive solar facilities. Imagine how much power they will create if the sun ever shines again.

As I continued my travels, I came upon this sign on a lawn.

I thought to myself, what a clever marketing strategy! Why not put up a sign that promotes something that no one is against? It gave me an idea. At Christmas, I produce 500 signs stating, “Support Santa Claus.” I think that would be a big winner, too.

Or if that is too controversial, maybe an “I love Ice Cream” sign. Can’t go wrong.

My next stop was the bridge project at the end of the Boulevard. As you can see by this photo, at this point, the Boulevard ends very abruptly.

As a big Bristol advocate, I thought we could really put our town on the map with this. So I have written to the agent for Geena Davis, proposing Thelma and Louise, Bristol Edition. It is a win-win idea. A win for Bristol, and a win for The Bristol Edition.

Finally, on my way back home, I came across the beleaguered Bristol Press building on Main Street. As you can see by the photos, it is definitely a “fixer upper.”

These two photos sadly bring me back to the proud days of a thriving local newspaper with a full complement of reporters, the printing press attached in the back, and thousands of subscribers. It really was the Bristol Press. Alas, those days are gone.

Today’s Bristol Press is a shadow of its former self.

Also, if you look closely at the photo on the right, this building is actually up for lease. I really only have one more question. If I agree to lease the building, will the owner pay me?

Jack Krampitz is a retired teacher, golf aficionado and TBE contributing editor.