By Michael Letendre

What is the exact point and purpose of youth sports in America?

The answers should be plain and simple.

But how about a little background first?

I have a five-year-old, soon to be six, and we’re slowly getting him into youth sports,

Asa loves to play soccer and when my youngster shows a little interest in a sport, I’m all in.

However, I’m not all in like some parents seem to be out there.

And sometimes, going to a park league soccer game is a chore when an overzealous parent is going haywire because little Wilbur just got knocked on his bottom by a four-year-old.

Is little five-year-old Wilbur going pro anytime soon?

Is park and rec soccer bigger than life or death?

What lessons is a parent going crazy on the sidelines providing their child in the grand scheme of things?

So, let’s get back to the reasons for having your son or daughter participate in youth sports with responsible parents in tow.

First and foremost, I want Asa to make some friends out on the pitch.

That’s mission accomplished when he plays park league soccer.

He’s learning a couple of skills, even a little discipline, and – of course – having some fun to boot with his peers.

Does that sound about right for a five-year-old?

Are my priorities in check here when it comes to my son?

Now, do I expect Major League Soccer to have a contract ready for Asa to sign when he kicks in a goal?

Absolutely not and putting pressure on him, whether it’s sports or not, should never happen.

However, that’s not always the case for every child as some overzealous parents can make a real mess of things.

If adults are watching their kids play, attempting to live out their fantasies or trying to feed an already overinflated ego, it’s wrong as wrong could be.

What does screaming at other kids, parents or even officials really get you in the end?

It’s embarrassing to watch people who act like that.

And all that yelling – and trash talking – about the job a youth coach is doing is absolutely ridiculous.

Think you can do better as a coach? 

As Bob from Bob’s Discount Furniture would say, “I doubt it!”

Does yelling at a coach, who is volunteering their time to mentor your son or daughter make a crabby parent feel any better?

These special individuals are taking time out of their very busy schedule to work with your kids.

It’s not an easy job and being negative towards a coach over and over and over again is completely wrong.

And some of these parents are even outwardly talking negatively about kids on their own team.

For crying out loud, when is enough, enough?

It’s just so sad and pathetic.

Can we just let kids be kids?

Is that too hard to ask?

I want Asa to make a couple life-long friends and have a little fun with a soccer ball.

And even if Asa is tremendous at soccer, you won’t see him being held back in school for a year or switching and transferring from school to school to give him some sort of competitive advantage.

We’ve seen that in Bristol from time to time and it gets that youngster nowhere in the end.

Taking a closer look at the negatives of youth sports

When parents aren’t supportive as they should be, several negative consequences could be the result:

*Kids eventually quit that sport or sports in general. 

That’s a huge lost opportunity to make friends – perhaps leading to something not so favorable like playing video games, getting into mischief or perhaps overuse of VCRs (no Asa, you can NOT put your peanut butter sandwich into daddy’s VCR…).

*The overall price. 

Yeah, it can be expensive to purchase cleats, and the hockey gear or a football helmet. 

It can be easy to price out a family with youth sports and acting like a crazed parent on the sidelines could lead to a closet filled with sports gear a child might never use again.

*Some kids simply don’t have fun due to the stress. 

And what about the mental price for that youngster watching daddy acting negative from the stands?

That’s what happens when you push kids, and the fun slows down or even stops. 

When the fun goes away and playing a sport becomes like a job, youngsters typically quit playing sports. 

Over-involved parents lead to unnecessary stress and micromanaging kids simply doesn’t work.

*Is it all about winning in park and rec leagues? 

No, it’s not all about the almighty ‘W’ and when playing youth sports becomes a ‘win at all costs’ model, your son or daughter won’t be competing for long. 

It’s about a youngster improving, showing skill among their peers and simply having fun with friends. 

Youth sports should always be about fun because soon enough, Bristol Eastern basketball coach Bunty Ray will be yelling at those same athletes at the scholastic level (helping those young men become better players and people).

You’ve got to have the right attitude…as a parent

Just like we see in every CCC gymnasium in the Central Connecticut area, there’s a banner that has spectator expectations.

What’s the biggest message from the sign? The last sentence is ‘Be a fan, not a fanatic.’

And as a mentor, pushing a youngster too far and too much in youth sports will only lead to dire consequences.

For crying out loud, let kids be kids and if a parent wants to go crazy and imitate a professional athlete, turn on ESPN8 and yell at the senior citizens playing corn hole from Billy Bob’s Bar and Grill.

At a recent American Legion Baseball game in Tolland, I saw sign that personified this whole subject.

This sign, from one of the Little League fields at Cross B, has a few strong and useful suggestions:

Certainly, some words to live by in the world of youth sports.