TBE celebrity readers support launch of first fund drive

By Jack Krampitz

When TBE Editor Dave Fortier announced our first ever fund-raising campaign on Sunday, the writing staff never imagined the support we would get from all over Bristol and the entire United States. Here is just a smattering of the notes and letters we received yesterday and today.

Dear TBE,

I am writing to wish you all the best in your fund-raising launch. It is so important for Bristol to have a newspaper that tells Bristol’s stories, not New Britain’s and Southington’s. I only wish I could afford to give more, but here is my pledge for $6.00 per month.

Sincerely,

Bill Gates

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Dear TBE,

I was shown Dave’s request on my flight home from Poland. I wish you the best and am sending a one-time pledge of $100.00. TBE is my second read each day after the Washington Post. When I first served in the Senate, Herbert Hoover was President and $100.00 was a big deal. Good luck, TBE,

President Joseph Biden

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Dear TBE,

I would be happy to support your paper, but first I have to ask you a favor. Could you pleese annonce that I was the winner of the 2020 Presidential election in Connecticut, but 600,000 votes for me were stolen in Brisdgeport. You do that, and I will gladly pledge $6,000,000.00 a week. Good luck collecting, though.

Your reel President,

Donald J. Trump

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Dear TBE,

Thank you for the great coverage of the Bristol Central Boys Basketball state championship journey in the TBE. The articles and the photos were awesome. Also, I would like to announce that I have hired Michael Letendre as my agent to begin my college career. I pledge to donate 10% of my future earnings to TBE, of which 0% can go to Mr. Letendre to equal his present salary.

Sincerely,

Donovan Clingan

Clingan with Letendre after tourney game

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Dear TBE,

I have been a loyal reader from the start. I will be happy to send a donation. I do have to say, though, that you should publish more stories from Jack Krampitz. He is obviously a better reporter than the other shmucks on your staff. Just saying.

Sincerely,

Annonymous

Jack Krampitz in 2021

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The above were only a sample of the dozens of support pledges we have gotten from all over the country.

If you are interested in joining the TBE movement, just scroll down below this story to become a part of a genuine Bristol sensation. You will not regret it.